Things on my mind.....

I have a lot of things on my mind lately, I don't know who else to pawn it off on or who else to tell, I just need to say things that people always tell me the same things to.
"Move out, get a change in your life"
"Tell them how you feel"

Things like that are what I hear from people a lot of the time. My life is what could be classified as the "classic Mormon college life" I dont drink or smoke, but i go dancing at least twice a week and I never go to bed before midnight, or even one. I do crazy things that I will probably look down on as I get older, I think that is part of college life, is it not?
I feel strange saying this, but I feel like there are some definite changes that have been made in my life, I am more nonchalant about things that would have bothered me in high school, I feel I am not as 'sunshiny' as I used to be, I'm not as happy as I used to be, it disturbs me very much. Lately, I have been trying to be more spiritual, like reading my scriptures or praying, but its so hard to keep that going, I always have things I would rather be doing, haha, once again, the crazy college life. Honestly though, I miss what my life used to be like, I felt so much better in high school, no worries, I was doing the right thing, my bishop told his friends about what a good kid I was, now I just feel like I am not doing anything noteworthy with my life, and I really really miss it. It makes me kind of sad...
About a month and a half ago, I sent off a missionary I care very much about, and I have really been missing him, more than usual, I really do miss him, we write letters at least every two weeks, once a week when he isn't busy, but I really just wish I could at least see him. When I see him, its like I forgot how to breathe, and all I can do is stare. Ah!! Really, I just can't breathe around him and I feel so giddy no matter what after I see him. I just miss him and hope the following year and 11 months go by quickly :)
Sometimes, you wonder what it would take for your life to be back to normal, feeling good about how you are living your life, as my friends say, I am the "best mormon" of our little clan, and I guess its really hard to live that up, especially when you know your friends are not living the way they should...
Dont even worry though, I will figure everything out, just you wait :)