Clarification.

I made a comment about my missionary in my blog earlier, about wishing I could see him again. I would like to clarify one thing, I am so glad he is out, I have never seen anyone so excited to do anything, it is his calling in life right now, to be out there serving. In fact, the reason we never really dated was because he didn't want to think twice about leaving because he had a girl, and i wouldn't want it any other way, to tell you the truth. While he is out there, he will grow and become an even better man than I know him to be now. Just wanted to clarify that point :)

Things on my mind.....

I have a lot of things on my mind lately, I don't know who else to pawn it off on or who else to tell, I just need to say things that people always tell me the same things to.
"Move out, get a change in your life"
"Tell them how you feel"

Things like that are what I hear from people a lot of the time. My life is what could be classified as the "classic Mormon college life" I dont drink or smoke, but i go dancing at least twice a week and I never go to bed before midnight, or even one. I do crazy things that I will probably look down on as I get older, I think that is part of college life, is it not?
I feel strange saying this, but I feel like there are some definite changes that have been made in my life, I am more nonchalant about things that would have bothered me in high school, I feel I am not as 'sunshiny' as I used to be, I'm not as happy as I used to be, it disturbs me very much. Lately, I have been trying to be more spiritual, like reading my scriptures or praying, but its so hard to keep that going, I always have things I would rather be doing, haha, once again, the crazy college life. Honestly though, I miss what my life used to be like, I felt so much better in high school, no worries, I was doing the right thing, my bishop told his friends about what a good kid I was, now I just feel like I am not doing anything noteworthy with my life, and I really really miss it. It makes me kind of sad...
About a month and a half ago, I sent off a missionary I care very much about, and I have really been missing him, more than usual, I really do miss him, we write letters at least every two weeks, once a week when he isn't busy, but I really just wish I could at least see him. When I see him, its like I forgot how to breathe, and all I can do is stare. Ah!! Really, I just can't breathe around him and I feel so giddy no matter what after I see him. I just miss him and hope the following year and 11 months go by quickly :)
Sometimes, you wonder what it would take for your life to be back to normal, feeling good about how you are living your life, as my friends say, I am the "best mormon" of our little clan, and I guess its really hard to live that up, especially when you know your friends are not living the way they should...
Dont even worry though, I will figure everything out, just you wait :)